There’s lots of talk about the need for community, family, connection, comrades, etc. For all our talking, it seems we do very little to make our need a reality. It is not that we don’t want these things, in fact, we not only want them, we desire them more deeply than just about anything. So why the difficulty? Why the hesitance? Why aren’t we better at making community and connectedness happen?
There are probably lots of reasons, but it seems the biggest reason is we desire these things from everyone, but really aren’t willing to be those things for anyone.
Call it a sign of the times or a meltdown of the American culture, or just sheer selfishness, but whatever you call it, it all adds up to utter loneliness for most of us in our overcrowded world. Sure, we want community, but no one really seems interested in living communally. We want people there for us when we are hurting, lonely, feeling down or depressed, but if someone else feels that way, we think they are needy or demanding or just plain too difficult. Life is funny.
We live in a throw away world where everyone wants permanency and consistency, but are unwilling to stay, to persevere, or to endure to make those things happen. We live in a world where parents have traded expedience of care for genuine parenting; family meal time for microwave meals on the go; sitting on the porch enjoying the evening with myspace, instant messaging, and texting.
It is no wonder there is a growing number of “hook up” sites on the net. Nearly every major internet portal has a “personals” section which allows folks to shop for friends or more, just as they would for groceries at the grocery store. Why bother with meeting and getting to know people in your real world when you can pick and choose whomever you want and have them be just the way you want them. We create pods of homogeneous people with similar interest, similar hurts, similar likes and dislikes. Funny that in our age of diversity we humans seem to be so intent on homogeneity.
What we each really need is not a village to raise us, but a person to walk with us. We need someone who will be willing to risk, to invest, to love, to encourage, to support, to rebuke and to point out where we need to grow. The Bible talks about it as it is “not good for man to alone.” God knew from the beginning that we were not created for isolation, but for community. Granted, I do think that the ultimate companion is that of a spouse, but I think when God states that “it is not good that man should be alone,” it also meant that man and woman need others in their lives to walk with them on this journey called life.
Just one person can make all the difference. We need just one person to face the challenges of life with another; just one person to join us on the journey because we know that “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work (Eccl. 4:9).”
We don't need a new Iphone, a new web site, a new anything really. We need an old reality: we need each other. No man or woman is an island. We were created by a triune God who exists in one deity, but in community with Himself and we too have need of such genuine, authentic, enduring, community.
So the next time you find yourself utterly lonely, feeling down, or in need of someone to gently speak words of encouragement into your life, ask yourself if you are being those things for someone else… and when you do, you’ll realize that if you are having to ask that question, chances are you aren’t.
